I cry at mass every Sunday. It's not necessarily the same time every Sunday, but at some point during the service, I am moved to tears. And I'm okay with that.
This last week, and the first Life Teen mass for me at St. Stephen's, it started with the Prayers of the Faithful, and didn't really end until I distracted myself after communion by making faces back and forth with the toddler in front of me.
Sometimes it's really embarassing how much I cry- luckily I've managed the art of silent tears- because I've come out of church before with wet spots on my shirt! But you know what? I'm okay with it.
It's okay to cry.
Sometimes the power of God's presence is just too amazing not to! Sometimes a song takes me right back to Mass at PLU before my friend renounced our friendship. Sometimes it reminds me of how much I miss my grandmothers every single day. Sometimes it's because I feel the pain of a fellow member of the congregation. Sometimes I am humbled by my humanity and God's love for me. Like I said, it's something different every time.
When I was little, and actually- an innocent part of my still does this- I would equate rain to angels' tears. When my grandfather died when I was young, I was sure it rained whenever I missed him. When kids were horribly mean to me at school, I knew the angels were sad that one of Jesus's lambs was hurting so badly. When terribly tragic events happened personally or globally, there was rain. Now, yes- I know- this is the Pacific Northwest, where there's 363 days of rain, one day of snow, and maybe a few days of sun... but the rain was always a subtle reminder for me that God shared my pain because he loved me so much!
We have close family friends who lost a loved one to suicide, Carly Henley. She was a beautiful college student, musician- singer/song writer, and one of my favorite songs that she wrote "Rain". This is the original YouTube video, and here is the studio cut sung by her cousin Tess Henley. How healing the rain is, letting it fall down over you...
When you feel moved by the Spirit, laugh- sing- shout- dance- share it! Please remember, it's okay to cry.