Friday, September 13, 2013

My "Soul Rehab" Playlist

Here it is!  It's been put together for a bit, but I kept forgetting to bring the journal page that had it... Sorry, no hyperlinks just yet...

I Can Only Imagine, Mercy Me
Take My Hand, The Kry
Lord, I Need You, Matt Maher
Beautiful, Mercy Me
Only Grace, Matthew West
There is a Way, Newworldson
Help Me Find It, Sidewalk Prophets
Worn, Tenth Avenue North
Redeemed, Big Daddy Weave
Need You Now, Plumb
Forgiveness, Matthew West
Carry Me, Josh Wilson
I will Rise, Chris Tomlin
He Won't Let You Go, The Kry

There are, quite obviously, SOOO many more songs that could go on this list, oh, the healing power of music!!! 

What songs help get you over that "hump" when all else seems to fail?

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Filling a Void

I found this post from about two months ago - for some reason it didn't get posted..... it was the idea of the first step to my post I just published, "When in Doubt...."


A few months ago I posted about my God-shaped hole not really being God-shaped so much as being St. Stephen's-shaped.... There's no way I could have ever known that, 5 months later, I'd have a boyfriend-shaped hole too.

Right now I'm not sure that I'm ready to jump back into the full-on church commitments again, I don't even know if they'd ask me back.... I think I need some time to just be me, but I do want to start filling that void- where my love-lost used to be, where my St Stephen's community used to be. And how will I do that? Well, since it's not really realistic to just unplug and disappear for a week, I'm thinking I might hang out with Jesus for a few hours here and there...

"When in Doubt, Go Where There's None"

That was my facebook comment when I checked in at church yesterday, and it was exactly where I needed to be.

I'd been avoiding going back to church, really, since I was asked to leave music ministry, 02/15/2013 - Ash Wednesday, and especially after leaving my ex-boyfriend.  It's been just too painful.  I went to church on Easter, but not my church.  I went a few times to other types of services, but not my church's services.  But yesterday I was moved by both good & bad things to just hit that "RESET" button and start all over. 

I found myself at St Stephen's about 30 minutes early for Mass, so I shared in some adoration (and tears) before mass.  It felt so right, being there, present with the Body of Christ- figuratively as the other members of the Faith Community sat down, and literally, with the Host on the altar.  The gospel message was perfect for what I needed to hear.... IMAGINE THAT! *soft grin*  God?  Speaking to me?  That's never happened to me before! (note-sarcasm! He talks to me all the time!)

Every one of us suffers, but what do we do with it?  We bring it to God.  We know Jesus is there with us.  We go to church.  We feel Him.  He doesn't "fix" it, but He helps us heal from it, and we do not have to do it alone.

Wise words for this aching soul.