As the holidays are drawing near, I am even more painfully aware that I am single and working on the "getting out there" part of post-break up-life.
It's hard. It sucks. I have gone back to church a few times, my old church, the mass where I felt my faith-community was, but it's not the same.... I feel like I've got a scarlet letter on my chest, like I've grown horns at my temples, and from some people, I most definitely feel the proverbial cold shoulder.
Don't get me wrong, others have welcomed me back with incredibly open arms and hearts that needed healing, both theirs and mine, and it was absolutely wonderful... but I still feel like I no longer belong.
Today's verse of the day is Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
I don't necessarily feel entirely broken hearted, but there are pieces and parts of my heart that are certainly and indefinitely broken. I don't feel like my soul is decemated, but there are corners that still need to be held, comforted, and nurtured back to its fullest state of being. Not only regarding people from church, but other people in my circle of friends. And I know, I know in my heart of hearts, that they're hurt by some of the happenings over the last 12 months, and it is a time for all of us to learn together, how to comfort one another, heal and move forward. Knowing God is holding me close, even the tiny broken bits of heart & soul that I hide from everyone but myself, helps me to take that next step...