Saturday, December 6, 2008

Where is My Faith These Days?

This is a good question...

The answer? I'm not sure. Last night I was trying to describe where my faith is, and I couldn't- the best way to say it is that it's on a whole different level than anyone I know, for reasons that I'm not going to get into right now... I'm not practicing any tradition right now, I still define myself as Christian-Catholic, but the thought of setting foot in a Catholic church right now is something I don't even want to think about. Why? Because it means accessing so much that I've kept bottled up inside, so much that I've journaled about but haven't actually "let out".

How can I heal myself? Answer- I can't, my faith in God is what has to heal me. And so the question comes 'round again, where IS my faith these days? I know that I have a long way to go, but I know that I've been there before, and I think the big part of being okay with it again is realizing (just now) that I won't be able to get back to that place- I'm different now, my experiences have deepend who I am, and so I need to be looking forward, not back.

So where am I looking to:
The future? No, this is much bigger than that.
The heavens? No, it's more real, more attainable than that.
The Church? For guidance, perhaps, but not yet.
My Self? Yes, but not entirely...
My heart. This is where the answers lie, right now. This is where the Spirit dwells. This is where Love is.

Sorry this is sort of scrambled, I'm typing as my mind is thinking, no form or flow... perhaps I'll revise it later, or perhaps I'll leave it raw.

My challenge to you, define where your faith is. Can you? If not, try to map out the path you will need to follow to find your faith. I'll walk with you, for we're all on the same journey.

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