Surrounded by God

One of my most favorite bookstores is in Tacoma, by the Tacoma Dome, and it just says "Books" on the side of the old building.  You walk in to a labyrinth of floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, with little routing cards pinned to pieces of wood between shelves, and arrows, genres, and directions instructing you when to turn where to find the room with the right colored door.... it looks like it could be the baby brother-of-bookstores to Portland's Powell's! 

My most favorite room is the one with the green door, I think it's the green door... maybe it's the red door?  I don't know.... It's where all the cook books and religious books are.  Such an appropriate pairing, don't you think?  Jesus asks us to come together and break bread in His name - DONE!  *grin*

I don't know if the pictures I took will do the book store justice... I tried to use the panoramic function on my iPhone....

As I was spending time with God all around me, Faith all around me, I was drawn to one bible in particular - an old French bible from 1890.  Oh, how I wish I could read French!  I would have purchased it, in a heartbeat!  There's just something about deep, old Faith that moves me every time - feeling that connection of belief, the Holy Spirit, the timelessness awe that IS God - there are no words!  Holding the book took my breath away.  (I might just have to pick it up tonight after work)  I've written before, about over 100 years of bibles on a shelf at the Family Farm.... You must experience it for yourself. 

There was another bible as well, it belonged to a man named Wayne Bailey 1947-1989, and someone documented "found with Wayne's things"... This bible also stirred something in my soul.... I have a soft spot & say a little prayer every time I meet a man who is not afraid to live his Faith.  Even if Wayne never went to church, he kept a bible with his things, in a place that it was found after he passed.  I'm not sure who he was, but his name will live on, and his bible will help bring God's word to someone else, long after he passed.

On a completely non-faith-related note, I think the prime discovery of that day was a Latin translation, illustrated version of Winnie the Pooh! *giggle*grin*  Always a child at heart, don't ya know!

#lent2014

It's that time of year again, folks!  What have you decided to change in your life?  Last year I did Grateful Photos and those were really a lot of fun, helping me to quite literally count my blessings.  Quite a few of my friends are giving up Facebook for the Lenton season, and I really thought about that, prayed about it, but one word kept coming up over all the others: GRACE. 

No, I'm not giving up Grace.  I am asking for Grace, every single morning before I even get out of bed, every day.  We really should be doing this anyway, but I'll be the first to admit that I get preoccupied with the day ahead of me and just trust that God will give me what Graces I need when I need them.... but to put intent, thought, and effort into it, it has a deeper meaning.

On this first day of Lent, I asked for the Grace to forgive people who have hurt me.  Again, something that should be a given, but I let it be out-of-sight-out-of-mind and just keep moving with the bandaid rather than helping the wounded parts of me to heal.  That proverbial bandaid defeats the purpose of forgiveness.  I used to think that forgiving meant forgetting, but that's not the case, most definitely not in this situation.  And the person who has hurt me so deeply is in a circle of friends whom I'm not willing to give up, so I must find the Grace to forgive.  I will be tentative and cautious when speaking (if speaking) with her again, but I need to heal my hurt, I need to ask God to heal my hurt. 

Mother Mary, you bestow Graces upon us, as you are filled with God's Grace.  Please help me, grant me God's Grace to forgive those who have hurt me so grievously.  Jesus, fill my heart with Your Love and help me to share that Love with others, as You have asked me to.  Amen.

Matthew 22:37-39

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself."  ~Matthew 22:37-39

This is the Verse of the Day today, and it is quite appropriate for what's weighing heavy on my heart:  Bullying. 

Last night I found a publicly posted situation between two of the kids from the youth group, and it broke my heart.  I'm not going into any further detail than that, but man.... it's a prime example of the hypocracy in Christianity that is such a turn-off to so many others!  How does someone who's raised in a loving, Christian household with kind and gentle parents resort to public humiliation and slander for entertainment?  How does gossip really, truly make you feel better about anything you do? 

Choosing to call yourself Christian and then choosing actions motivated by anything LESS than Christ's love is a travesty to Christianity.  It's a false, absurd, distorted representation of what Matthew writes, of what Jesus teaches us. 

I've said it before and I'll say it again.  You NEVER know when your actions or inactions may affect someone's life, for the better or worse.  You may be the last person they speak with before they decide to end their life.  You may be the person they speak with that helps them change their mind about ending their life.  You may be the person they speak with who turns them off once and for all from what they think is a joke-of-a-Christian.  You may be the person they speak with who helps them see that Christianity is no joke. 

"Love your neighbor as yourself."  That doesn't mean look in the mirror and tell yourself that you're a bitch or a slut (and I'm quoting that).  It means looking at those around you and saying the same thing you'd say if you were looking in a mirror..."You look good today." "That outfit compliments your figure." "Your hair looks really nice.".... You get the idea! 

None of us are perfect, but we can definitely make a more concious effort each and every day.  That's a direct order from J.C. right there.  Forget wondering how someone sleeps at night after tearing someone down.... they've got to work to make things right between themselves and God. 

The Logan Foundation

Shortly before Christmas 2013 my friend lost her son to a very tragic suicide.  He lived with his father and stepmother in another state, and it's been.... an experience beyond words for her.

In Logan's memory, she has managed to establish two non-profit organizations over the last 6 weeks!  One of them is to build a loving, safe, supportive network to help stop teen suicide.  The other is to raise funds for a park in Logan's name. 

Please visit The Logan Foundation website for more information and for donation and volunteer opportunities!
 

The starting cost for a park to be built/dedicated is around $50,000.  *wince*  It sounds like a lot, well, because it is!  Any little bit helps. 
~
Suicide is no joke.  It's not taboo.  It's real.  It's a discussion that needs to be had.  It's a subject that can't be brushed to the side or hidden in the closet.  TALK ABOUT IT.  I promise you, if someone is truly suicidal, you bringing it up - out of genuine concern - is not going to make them follow through.  Discussing it with someone who battles depression will not push them over the edge or plant the idea to end their own life. 

Don't be a mannequin in someones life.  Take an active role.  Open that line of communication, and leave it open! 

It might save someones life.

A Year Ago, this Month....

... I thought life was good.  I was actively involved in my church's youth ministries and music ministries.  I was helping to plan the senior high retreat and confirmation mass, and was asked to be confirmation sponsor for a fantastic young man who was the perfect confirmande, and I had a (lying, cheating, abusive, ex)boyfriend who I thought loved me.  We all know where I am now, nothing left from everything that was so right just 12 months ago.  (except a few friends who help to define "unconditional love" and my family.  These people make me cry just thinking about how much they love me, and how they helped me to stay strong while I heal my brokenness)

This month, particularly the end of December and beginning of January, has been particularly trying. 

I've been finding comfort in the company of a few choice people, and some great God-songs.  Take My Hand, by The Kry, and Draw Me Close, from the Ultimate Worship Collection.  Literally, listening to these two songs on repeat one for the last few weeks, and it's amazing - no matter how angry, upset, hurt, frustrated, I am, when these songs come on, everything just melts away. 

I'm just on my break right now, I can't access any of the media sharing websites to hyperlink these songs right now, but do yourself a favor & look 'em up.  Download them.  They will make you feel so much better - even if you don't think you're feeling poorly, you'd be amazed at how much these words help and heal! 

There's a Book of Titus?!

"For the grace of God has appeard that offers salvation to all people.  It teaches us to say 'NO' to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live in self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in this present age." ~Titus 2:11-12

This was the verse of the day today, and I had to do a double check - I had no clue that the bible had a Book of Titus!  *palm-forehead*  Guess I'd better brush up on The Good Book!!! 

Either way, these are wonderful words to live by.  While part of me says "I wish I'd have stuck closer to these words this time last year!" there's the other part of me that says "You thought you were, and you thought he (who shall not be named) was The One." (foolish!)  At the time, I made a decision based on what I thought was true.  The ultimate price wasn't worth it.  Now I'm left with a 20/20 hindsight, and a lot of humble "I'm sorry's" to say, and a lot more healing left to do, for all parties involved. 

Part of that healing process for me is getting back to church on a regular basis.  It's really hard to go back to my church, a place where I still feel most at home, and not be a part of, well, anything. 

New Year's Eve I found myself at church, just wanting some one-on-one time with my buddy J.C.  I was hoping, praying that the church would be open for something and I'd be able to sneak into the sanctuary and just.... just be.  Well, I walked in to Fr. Ed asking me if I was there for mass.  HA!  Guess my prayers were answered!  The church was opened, and I'd get to spend a whole lot of time with J.C!  It wasn't alone time, but that's okay.  It was more good healing time for me.  And I saw some familiar faces who welcomed me with open arms, and I can't tell you how much that meant.  Beyond words. 

When I went to light a candle, for the many people who lost loved ones this holiday season, I realized I was doing the right things, taking the right steps, and in the right place.... someone had playfully arranged the candles, and I could see, quite evidently, that God was smiling at me.

On the First Day of Christmas

My True Love Gave to Me... a Partridge in a Pear Tree!

Do you know that the 12 days of Christmas are actually December 26th to January 6th?  Do you know that the poem-turned-carol was originally written to continue passing on the traditions of the Catholic church in Protestand England? 

The True Love who is bestowing gifts upon us is God.  The Partridge in a Pear Tree is Jesus, as He was given to us on Christmas.  Here's the full list of the meanings:

Two Turtle Doves - Old & New Testament
Three French Hens - Faith, Hope, Love
Four Calling Birds - the Gospels - Matthew, Mark, Luke, & John
Five Gold Rings - Five books of the Old Testament, which describe man's fall into sin & the Love of God in giving us Jesus
Six Geese a-Laying - the 6 days of creation
Seven Swans a-Swimming - sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit (prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhoration, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy
Eight Maids a-Milking - the eight beatitudes
Nine Ladies Dancing - nine fruits of the Holy Spirit (Charit, Joy, Peac, Patience, Goodness, Mildness, Fidelity, Modesty, and Connectivity)
Ten Lords a-Leaping - the Ten Commandments
Eleven Pipers Piping - the 11 faithful apostles
Twelve Drummers - the twelve points of belief in the Apostle's Creed.

Just some food for thought on this First Day of Christmas!