On Hallowed Ground

Sometimes I need to unplug, back out of the busy-ness around me, and just be in silence.  That's not easy to do in today's world, let me tell ya!!!

The other day I thought I'd managed to escape the insanity as I sat at the little pho restaurant by my office, but nope... in walked some pretty loud customers and out walked my peace of mind.  I tried losing myself in my book again (on my kindle -shhh! don't tell!) but it was a futile effort.

Wednesday was another one of those days where I just needed to be.  Silent.  No chance of being bothered by anyone.  I was feeling the Spirit call to me, and I just needed to listen.  I needed more than just the silence of my car in the parking lot.  I needed to just find Peace.  Quiet.  God. 

I found myself at the local cemetary.  It was a beautiful, warm Fall day, the sun was out, the wind was tickling the branches of the trees that stood watch over the 100 year old head stones, and it was perfect.  Absolutely perfect.  Stepping foot on hallowed ground, I swear I could feel the Spirit fill me from my feet up to the top of my head.  I righted some of the flags and flower pots that had been toppled over by wind, and brushed off piles of leaves from the headstones, saying a little prayer for each person as I walked by. 

God didn't tell me any deep secrets or bless me with any profound epiphanies.  He didn't solve world hunger or give me the healing touch to cure all cancer.  He was just present.  With me.  In peaceful silence.  It was so humbling, so fulfilling, so.... *sigh* perfect. 

I promise you, cemetaries are not always creepy.  I encourage you to spend some time in one.  (I know that sounds creepy, but I promise, it's not)

"For God alone, oh my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from Him." ~Proverbs 62:5

It Won't be the Same this Year

It hasn't been the same since... 1997? 1998?  Whatever year it was that my uncle died.  (or any of the friends & family members who have passed since then)

This time of year is always hard, there's always the stress and anxiety that we bring into the holidays - have to clean the house, have to have the food just right, the decorations just right, get the right gifts for the right person... the list goes on.  When you've lost a loved one, it gets that much harder.... I mean, you eventually get used to the every-day activities without that person there, but when the holidays hit, you can't avoid realizing that there's someone, or multiple "someones" missing from the table.

The first year we had to survive a holiday after someone had passed, this is the song that brought me peace.  I can't tell you how many times I listened to this song on repeat one, how many times I would get to church early - sometimes hours early - to pray, light a candle, and play the piano... figuring out this song by ear, and singing it over and over again.  Oddly enough, I can't seem to remember how to play it now.... *sigh*

This year, I am missing both of my grandmothers, a lot.  This year, I hurt for the girl in youth group who lost her younger sister to cancer over the summer.  This year, I cry a few tears & pray for my friend who just lost her husband, and my friend who's mother passed away, and for my other friend who was unable to attend her grandmother's funeral last weekend, and I weep for all those touched by depression, mental illness, and suicide.  This year, I pray that all of my loved ones, and their loved ones are safe and able to share another holiday season with us.  I pray that we can all feel the presence of those who have gone before us, surrounding us with their love and prayers still.  Who knows- maybe a heavy smell of roses will overwhelm you, or you might hear that bell ring when nobody's standing near the tree... little signs that it's okay to cry, okay to miss them, and okay to move on...

When you can't seem to find peace, when you don't think you can make it through another day with the absence of that person lingering, pray.  Sing, write, talk, cry, scream, vent, pray.  God understands that you're hurting, and He will help you.  He will always help you.  He understand if you need to be mad a Him for a while, and He will welcome you back in close, open arms, as soon as you're ready. 

It Won't be the Same this Year 

(again, let me know if the link doesn't work!)

by Vince Gill, album Let There Be Peace On Earth

It's time to pack our bags and hit the highway,

And head on out for Christmas holiday,

I'll fall apart when I pull in the driveway,

It's my first time home since brother passed away.

His favorite time of year was always Christmas,

We'll reminisce about the days gone by,

Oh how I wish that he was still here with us,

My memories with him will never die.

When the stockings are hung,

And Silent Night has been sung,

And Christmas is finally here,

It won't be the same this year.

Losing my big brother hurt so badly,

It's help me learn what Christmas really means,

There's nothing more important then your family,

We're all the children of the King of Kings.

When the stockings are hung,

And Silent Night has been sung,

And Christmas is finally here,

It won't be the same this year.

Still Listening...

Following up with my last post, I'm still listening, not quite ready to publish anything just yet.  And I'm okay with that. 

Actually, God's okay with that too, I'm pretty sure - taking last week's song choice as His approval....

Word of God Speak

I'm finding myself at a loss for words

And the funny thing is it's okay

The last thing I need is to be heard

But to hear what You say

Word of God speak

Would Your pour down like rain

Washing my eyes to see

Your majesty

To be still and know

That You're in this place

Please let me stay and rest

In Your holiness

Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You

Beyond the music, beyond the noise

All that I need is to be with You

And in the quiet hear Your voice

Word of God speak

Would you pour down like rain

Washing my eyes to see

Your majesty

To be still and know

That You're in this place

Please let me stay and rest

In Your holiness

Word of God speak

I'm finding myself at a loss for words

And the funny thing is it's okay